Sunday, July 24, 2005
"Hey, how you been? Wanted to send you this message yesterday. Happy birthday. Had a great time?"


many would have gone through the influence state of mind that 'you can only have 1 best friend' as a primary sch kid and thinking back, i really used to have one best friend. we were always enjoying each other company, studying together, playing together, eat together.

i wasnt a hardworking kid and i like to play alot. used to give excuses to my mother so i can play zero-point, 5-stones and etc with friend after sch and was quite an expert as a result *hiak hiak* however i will complete those maths and sciences mock exams and tests given by teachers as i like these subjects and would pass to my best friend for reference. [forgotten whats the frequency rate] Although i really didnt study for my PSLE, maybe its the constant practise on mock exams and tests given by teachers or is it my sheer luck, i was able to get decent result for the sch that i wish to get in coz its just beside my flat!

my best friend werent as lucky as me, she need to appeal to get to the sch [cant remember if thats her choice of sch before appeal] and i was excited that we ended up in the same class again but i guessed her ego/pride had been hurt due to the appeal. since then i felt a change of character in her, she had became a perfectionist in term of studies and friendship.

nobody is perfect ... i am not a perfect person ...


"why u didnt tell me you joining them for.."

"why u didnt tell me there's a update in ur literature note"

"why u didnt... "

need to report everything to her? i felt very restricted, i have lost my freedom. i didnt let her know abt my feelings and thoughts on her change in character but started to find excuses to drift away from her. i am really suffocated by her constant 'why you didnt' qns and couldnt stand it much longer, i wanna break free.

finally, she sensed there's something amiss and she want to meet up and have a chat to find out what's the problem and clear the differences.

but i chose not to, i dont wanna talk about it. i dont really dare to meet up with her, is it the feeling of guilty or fear?

soon we were on the different path. i dont know what is her side of story, but some ppl at her side came to tell me off. but i wouldnt care, i want my freedom.

we were strangers from that day till the day we graduate, but it's the day the stranger-feeling starts to fade. we started to chat and meet up on bday celebration with a particular group of friends. as everyone are busy with their new life in poly and jc, most of us lost communication with one another.

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the only constant is the constant change.

ppl matured as they grew, so do i.

given a scenario, we would have a diff approach in handling the matter as compared when we were young and now.

maybe i should have meet up with her and clarify our differences.

maybe she would be the same old good pal of mine, hanging out together w/o the feeling of restriction.

maybe..


sLeep zZzzz @ 23:26